Twas the Night Before Finals

By Laurie Epps

With finals recently over, the topic of this poem is near and dear to my heart. When my girlfriend beamed with pride over her son's poem, I listened to the words thoughtfully. When I stopped laughing, I thought, "Hey, it's pretty good."

Happy Winter Break to all the college students out there. For now, enjoy. Merry Christmas everyone.

'Twas the Night Before Finals, By Alex Jung

'Twas the night before finals, when all through the halls,

Not a person was sleeping, not one student at all.

Most fond of sleep, yet none touched their beds,

As fear of late essays danced through their heads.

My English professor, with her most evil stare,

Made it well know to all, how little she cared.

She said with a snicker, "If your paper is late,

I'll fail you right now, and I won't hesitate."

The purpose of ACA was to teach me time managing,

As my habit of procrastinating, is in fact, quite damaging.

But despite all the warnings by a nice Richard Sykes,

I sat around and waited, then cried out, "OH YIKES!"

In a mere 24 hours my final paper is due,

And I'm just now starting and I've got no clue.

I gaze at my notes, I'm feeling quite cruddy,

My eyes went a blur and my thoughts are all muddy.

I've merely concluded that life is quite cruel,

As my future depends on my grades in school.

So I drain all the coffee and brew a fresh pot,

I'll pull an all-nighter, though my nerves are quite shot.

I've stressed and I've worried thus far in my journey,

And if I don't finish soon, wheel me off in a gurney.

I'd rather be dead then face my teacher empty handed, 

So please dear brain, don't leave me here stranded.

My fingers hit the keys with an effort so smooth,

My essay takes shape, and I may not be so screwed.

Words lead to paragraphs, then into pages,

Progress is being made, though it is taking me ages.

The sun is waking, peering over the horizon,

The birds begin chirping and my alarm starts to siren.

It is now I realize class begins in an hour,

So my heart sinks and my face dons a glower.

With this in mind, I come to a conclusion,

My paper's now finished on nuclear fusion.

I rush to print, but this cannot be so,

I load up some paper, and the printer says, "No."

After hours of work and even skipping dinner,

I've broken Sykes rule about trusting a printer.

Just moments before my paper is due,

My printer took pleasure in saying, "Screw you."

I stumble into class without a paper in hand,

The teacher looks over then begins to reprimand.

For my tardiness she asked what excuse I will support

So without too much thinking I blamed it on Stuart

Alex Jung is my dear friend's son and is a freshman at a local community college. Alex is an avid hunter, and a wonderful chef. He is really into American and German History, especially during World War II. Alex collects RC Planes, and also does rocket building. He also creates wonderful diorama's with a great eye for detail. This creates historically accurate masterpiece's for his buyers on eBay. Alex participates in a lot of modeling forums, and is becoming known for his work. This is Alex's first attempt at poetry.