New Column: Workout Wednesdays

Pictured at my friend Faye's Wedding in 1988

By Laurie Epps

I wasn't always heavy. I didn't start out this way. Most of the people in my family aren't heavy either. But this is my story. I know I'm not the only woman out there that has fought this battle. This column is meant to be encouragement for the people that struggle with some of the issues in regards to weight loss.

The picture at the right, most people would consider me to be in my best shape. I ran marathons, did martial arts, participated in triathlons, and practiced ballet. I've danced with both the Atlanta Ballet, and the San Diego Ballet. But I was also malnourished and very sick in this picture. I had anorexia. I weighed in at a whopping 112 pounds, and it was waif like on my 6'0" tall frame. Yet, I looked in the mirror and I saw a fatso. I couldn't exercise enough, and I couldn't eat too little.

A Year after having my second baby in 1997

Sundays: Back to Basics

By Laurie Epps

Looking for my mainline in work, I lost myself. By definition, I'm a writer. Love it, or hate it, that's my roots. I've found looking tirelessly for work is both arduous and exhausting. It sucks out your very soul. But what's a girl to do between gigs? The answer is simple. Create. Create like nobody's watching.

Ok, so I've been stockpiling a little work here. The next phase is the query. Find publishers who might be interested, but the key is sometimes it's ok to write for our own edification. I took some much needed time off for this process.

My most popular column, "Monday Morning Book Club" is now being moved to Tuesday. We'll continue in Edie's book, Connections: Social Media and Networking Techniques for Writers.

At the conclusion of Edie's book, we'll get back to fundamentals. The column is going to redirect to the process of writing. I need to stay entrenched in what I love. 

Writing itself, is sort of a weird endeavor. You go into seclusion to communicate to the world. 

I hope to see you all on Tuesday.

Blessings,
Laurie

Changing It Up

By Laurie Epps

Hello, my dears. Pull up a chair with your favorite hot beverage and let's talk.

I've had this column for close to three years, and it's time to make some changes to it, don't you think? Since graduation, the purpose of this blog is changing, and I'm going to be revamping it's look. However, that doesn't mean that I've got to stop posting. If you think it's a different blog when you post one week, it just may be that I'm making some formatting changes.

In the last little bit, I'm realizing that I too, have had some major changes in the last three years. I've gone up and down in weight, and I've graduated college. I'm still adjusting to life out in the real world. I've gone from being a wife to being a single mother. I've gone from being a student and intern to writing professional.  Sometimes it's elating much like the cliche ideal of the mountain top experience, but other times it feels like I'm running on empty.

Luckily, for every empty tank there's a nearby gas station, and every different disappointment there's a new beginning. For me, my rock has been my faith. Without God, I'd not have a roof over my head, food in my belly, and the tremendous privilege of raising my two daughters that are still at home. I know that I'm embarking on a new season of my life since nothing in my life is familiar (Ref: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). Shouldn't my blog reflect that? I thought so too.

Due to time constraints, I'm moving my Monday Morning Book Club to Tuesdays, and I'm in search of the perfect name for it too. If you've got any suggestions, please share them with me below. We'll still finish up Edie's wonderful book on Social Media, but at it's conclusion, we'll refocus and talk about writing technique. Of course, this will lead to discussions on books about writing, but when appropriate, it will also mean you'll see some columns that are more freelance in nature where they're not based on a book at all.

Well my dears, as we're at the beginning of fall, I recommend that you get out there and get lost somewhere. No, I don't recommend being lost literally, but instead metaphorically. Take your kids to a pumpkin patch, take a drive in the mountains to see the fall colors, or head to Starbucks for a Pumpkin Spice Latte. Who knows, you might find a writer working feverishly in the corner of Starbucks, or with a small notebook jotting down notes while hiking the hills. 

Till we meet again... Hopefully on Tuesday, October 7, 2014 with my new writing column.

Blessings,
Laurie

Love Letter to My Ex

By Laurie Epps

Breakups are always hard. They’re painful, and this heartache is multiplied if the couple had children together. My ex, I can absolutely say, didn’t know where I was coming from at all. Even though he abandoned me, he seemed to be oblivious to the fact that’s what he’d done.

So as an exercise, I thought I’d purge some of those negative emotions. I’ve lived in constant turmoil too long. Share with me in my journey, and realize that if you were abandoned, and are reading this, that you’re not alone. My life was broadsided, and if nothing else, my spiritual life is growing by leaps and bounds. Recovery is painful, and you don’t have to stop loving your ex to know that they’re no good for you. This is the point that I’ve come to realize.

Here’s my love letter to my ex husband:

Dearest,

            After spending half my life with you, I must tell you that I did this gesture out of love for you. The part that’ll be hardest for you to understand is that I was still in love with you even when I filed for divorce.

            I know that you’re moving on, and that picture doesn’t include me. You’d been distancing yourself from me for years, but I’d refused to accept it. However, by your final act of abandonment I was forced to face it.

            Now, I confess, I miss you. I can remember the good times and not only the break up. Sometimes, I imagine that you still love me, and that things are still good. I’ll wait for you to pounce on the bed on all fours, wagging your tail, and draw out the nickname “honey” with long vowel sounds from your mouth.

            Things weren’t always so bad as they got the last 4-5 years of our marriage. By then, I felt the loneliest when you were around. I knew, it shouldn’t be that way, and that things weren’t right.

            I was resolved to weather anything with you. I could’ve taken on just about any problem except your silence and withdrawal. I’m even still foolish enough to ask myself why you’d leave me, or our girls… They didn’t deserve that, and I can finally say, I didn’t deserve that.

            Oh, I knew I’d cry when I wrote this letter to you. Damn you. But as a writer, I knew that writing this letter was an essential part of my healing process. So today, I release you, and my romantic love for you, so that I can grieve. I loved you with my whole heart, and part of me always will. I know now that you’ll never be able to answer all my questions about why you allowed yourself to abandon our love. It was a beautiful love, and it was worth fighting for.

Affectionately yours,

Me

Laurie Epps is a recent graduate of Anderson University majoring in Creative Writing. Already Laurie is most published as a feature article writer, essayist, and poet.  A seeker of beauty, her is dream is to travel the world one day and tell the many stories of those she meets. Columns include: Monday Morning Book Club, and Thoughtful Thursdays, a column dedicated to the fine art of poetry.

Friendship Day 2014

Friends taking a selfie

By Laurie Epps

Friendship Day was established in the 1940s as a Hallmark kind of holiday. During WWII, the United States refocused on the war and nationalism which placed Friendship Day off the radar for most Americans.

Believe it or not, the character Winnie the Pooh was named ambassador for friendship in the United Nations. With Pooh's popularity, it re-instated the dormant holiday and they recognized July 30th as the International Friendship Day in 2011.

Reconnecting With Family

Me and my brother

By Laurie Epps

Sometimes it's good to reconnect with family. I've been away from my office for quite a few weeks, but I'm ready to take on the challenge of going back to my regular schedule. 

I don't get a chance to see my brother very often, but when I heard he'll be in my state, I jumped on the chance for a visit. We caught up on things that have been happening in each other's lives, and all against the beautiful backdrop of Charleston.

Happy Fourth of July!

By Laurie Epps

I know that many of you are out of town or visiting family this week. I just want to remind you to be safe. I hope you will enjoy yourselves, and come back to visit this column again beginning Monday, July 14, 2014. We will continue to talk about social media, and our next topic is about Copyright Law.

Happy Birthday America!

Books My Daughter Should Read, Part 2

Easter 2014

By Laurie Epps

My senior year of college, I learned that I'm a feminist. Now, I'm not going to give up my makeup, or shaving, or my dresses mind you, but I firmly believe that equal work deserves equal pay. I believe that a woman's mind works just as well as a man's, and that we should make a little room for each other.

If my life could be an example for my daughter's, I'd like it show them that they can do anything they set their minds to, and not to rely on a man for everything. I love men, don't get me wrong, but they're only human. Just as we'll do, men'll let you down and disappoint you. At times, we even disappoint ourselves. But my mom told me over and over again to have your own "go to hell" money. I didn't really understand all the nuances of that simple statement till my husband of close to twenty years abandoned us two years ago.

We've come a long way with feminism in a lot of ways, but not as far as we need to go. Our heritage of fighters from our moms to our grandmothers to even our great grandmothers paved the way. We've gotta take time to study those women who overcame those stereotypes and broke convention. The strong women who threw their reputation on the line to make an easier life for us. 

Books My Daughter Should Read, Part 1

My daughter Ellen in the local library

By Laurie Epps

So much of my identity is wrapped up in books that to really know me, my daughters would have to read some of my most favorite books to know anything about me.

In the Joy Luck Club, Ying-Ying attributes her daughter’s instability in the present to her past own weakness: “Now I must tell my daughter everything. That she is the daughter of a ghost. She has no chi. This is my greatest shame. How can I leave this world without leaving her my spirit?” (286)

Encouragement for Recent Graduates

Happy Graduate, May 3, 2014

By Laurie Epps

Something I wasn’t prepared for when I graduated was the letdown post graduation. For the next ten days, I’d drop my daughter off at school, and go back to bed until 2 PM. That’s really out of character for me. I wasn’t prepared for the feeling of inadequacy, or for the feeling that I was lost and irrelevant.

When I spoke to other graduates, many of them felt the same way. Yet nobody talks about it, and I believe they should. Back in the good old days, students would receive bids for their talent, and often before graduation. But today, the graduate is in the drivers seat as conquerors of their own destiny. We’re placed in charge of the “what’s next” chapter of our lives. However, this is an area that college didn’t adequately prepare us for.

A Grandmother's Legacy

My junior college graduation, 5/20/05

By Laurie Epps

Did you know that today marks the one hundredth anniversary of Mother's Day? So for all the mom's out there, I'd like to wish you a very Happy Mothers Day.

Back in my junior college days, my Cultural Geography teacher assigned a genealogy project. I didn't know it then, but it was a hobby that would stay with me for the rest of my life. Very early in the project, I realized that history books are full of men, and men's narratives. What I wanted to know was very different. I wanted to know the stories of the women that went before me. It also led me to think about what legacy I'd like to leave my daughters.

My Grandmother Everitt, 1977

Life Interupted

Photo compliments of Alexes Ciardi

By Laurie Epps

I'm so sorry that I didn't have blogs up for all of last week. (Apr.27- May 3, 2014) I've been slammed with year end final projects, and graduation. 

The last assignments of senior year were killer. Most of them packed a punch of at least a quarter of my grade. Not passing anything would mean that I wouldn't graduate.

It was overwhelming. I've not had a decent night's sleep in my four years at Anderson University. But it was worth it. Now I can say that I'm a college graduate.

Graduation Day 2014

Time of Rebirth

By Laurie Epps

Happy Easter Everyone!
With Easter on the horizon, it's a time of renewal in our lives. Since early biblical times, people have looked at the onset of spring as the perfect time to start over, and to renew their life and themselves.

What can this mean for our writing? 

Teddy Bear Tea

Pictured with my youngest daughter

By Laurie Epps

Sometimes it's ok to blog about something personal. My youngest is a Girl Scout. Last Saturday, a local church had a little tea party for the Daisy Scouts to teach them a little about manners, etiquette, and have a little tea.

It's just my two cents, but shouldn't a tea party have tea? The way I understand tea, not only should it be served in the afternoon around 3-4 pm, but it also should have my favorite hot beverage. Of course, the kids didn't know the difference, so that was fine enough. But no tea? That's something I'm remedying right now. Ok, so I'm not perfect either. I don't have a proper tea service. But I do have a mug from Oxford University in England, that's close enough, right?

Mainly, I'm mentioning this on my blog because I'd like to reach out to other nerds just like me who share the opinion that nothing's more relaxing than a big cup of tea. I prefer it, and spend many of my study nights tanking the hot stuff. But to the chagrin of Oscar Wilde, there are no cucumber sandwiches. (Literature nerds will get this pun.)

Have a wonderful Sunday, and a delightful cup of tea.

A Tourist in Your Own Town

Me and My Middle Daughter, Ellen

By Laurie Epps

We all have that moment in middle age where we realize that our kids are growing up, that our time with them is limited. This is the case for me and my 17 year old daughter, Ellen. I'm proud of my daughter, but I know my time with her has changed drastically, and will continue to do so. I've got anywhere from one to four years of her clanking around the house in her gym T-shirts and pajama bottoms.

Naturally, being a college senior, my Spring Break doesn't line up with my kids. Mine was the second week of March, Ellen's the third, and my youngest's is the week before Easter in April. Since my middle daughter needed her haircut, I seized the opportunity to turn it into a mother & daughter day date. It also gave us a chance to get out into the beautiful sunshine after a pretty dreary winter for us. I know, it's nothing compared to other parts of the country, but for around here, it was pretty bad.

Serendipity with Artist Toni Scott

By Laurie Epps

I usually don't include a story so personal, but I feel this story should be told even though it's still unfolding. This fall, I was taking an Advanced Poetry class in college, but I really wanted to write in response to art. Living in a college town gives some limitations, so my first line of defense in such an endeavor was to peruse my campus' various galleries.

Outside the Vandiver Gallery was my art history teacher from the previous semester. She greeted me in the same warm way that she always does, and asked me if I wanted to look around. Of course I did! Although my time was extremely limited since they weren't officially open yet, I snapped a photo of the painting that spoke to me. It also gave me a chance to meet the visionary artist herself.

That night, I went home and took pen to paper, noting the decoupaged messages off the sides of the canvas. I was nervous because I was partially afraid to not do the painting I saw earlier in the evening justice. From those quiet moments at my kitchen table, and wads of crumpled up papers that weren't quite right in my wake, the poem Hauntings was born. I actually worked on it a number of times, and usually at night.

Artist Toni Scott

I found Toni Scott's artwork to be powerful, profound, and moving. I physically cried just from looking at some of her paintings. But somehow, Toni Scott and I weren't done. I would talk to this woman again.

After the Christmas Break, I decided to write a month's worth of Eukrastic poems, and Hauntings was among them. I didn't want to violate copyright infringement, so I contacted my art teacher and requested permission to publish my iPhone's image of her painting along with my poem. After a lot of tears, and carefully worded emails, my professor grew tired of being a go between. That was when I first began talking with the artist directly. My poem Hauntings appeared on my Thoughtful Thursday column on January 23, 2014. 
http://1writerlaurieepps.blogspot.com/2014/01/hauntings-work-of-toni-scott.html

By the time my blog about Toni Scott appeared, I'd begun a new set of classes. Among them is my favorite class, Women Writers. At the beginning of the semester, we had to sign up to lead the discussion over one of the books we talked about in class. My selection was on Incidents of a Slave Girl by Harriet Jacobs. I was surprised when I couldn't put down a slave narrative. I had to know the fate of Linda, and her children Benny & Ellen. I believe it was one of the best discussions I'd led in my entire academic career.

A few days later on Facebook, I saw the image at the top of the screen, and learned the painting was based on the same book I'd just read for class. What? My mind was swimming. How could that be? I didn't mean to do that, but it was meant to be. Then I learned that my college bought that very painting. If all that isn't weird enough, Toni contacted me for permission to share my poem. Of course, YES. So, then I started looking at her fan page on Facebook, and learned we're both from Los Angeles. Not only are we fellow artists, but we're both strong, independent Angelino's.

Once all these strong coincidence's started swirling in my head, I felt the hand of God on me in that moment. There's a reason why Toni and I found each other, though I can't quite pinpoint it yet. I went on to send Toni my handouts from my presentation, and I can't wait to press on and uncover what we're meant to do together. I love you Toni Scott, you inspire me.

Back to my poem, now that all of this came together, I'd have to find out how accurate my poem was to the actual narrative. Surprisingly, it was dead on. I think that's why a lot of us write. We write to leave a legacy. Just as Linda fought the entire narrative to free her children from slavery, her words speak through women like Toni & I, and women everywhere who will continue to fight for our equality and our voice amongst a male dominant social landscape.

To learn more about the artwork of Toni Scott, click here.

Laurie Epps is a non-fiction author, essayist, editor, and poet living in Anderson, South Carolina. A seeker of beauty, her is dream is to travel the world one day and tell the many stories of those she meets. Columns include: Monday Morning Book Club, and Thoughtful Thursdays, a column dedicated to the fine art of poetry.

Scout Sunday

Scout Sunday, February 23, 2014

Every two weeks, kids from all over the upstate descend upon the little Presbyterian church on Whitner Street in Anderson. On behalf of Troop #724, I'd like to thank the First Presbyterian Church of Anderson, SC for use of their facilities for our children. As a former Girl Scout myself, I know they are making a sacrifice for the betterment of today's youth. They are the future generation, and learning skills that will not only help prepare them for the future, but also train these children to be better citizens in society.

Also, it's Girl Scout cookie time again. If you live in the Anderson, SC area, you can visit our booths at Bi-Lo across from the Anderson Mall on Saturday, or in front of WalMart off Liberty on Sunday to purchase cookies. If you don't live here locally, you can simply go to the Girl Scout website to find Girl Scout cookie vendors near you.

Addictions: From Girl Scout Cookies to a Good Read

By Laurie Epps

We all have additions. Some are healthier than others. Mine are tame in comparison to a lot of people. I'm addicted to the written word, hot tea, warm baths whether by water or sun, chocolate, or well, anything else with caffeine in it. What can I say? As I've gotten older, I'm tired all the time.

Recently, I read an article online that basically started with the premise of: "You know you're from Southern California when...." list. It's sort of a top twenty list. The one that stuck with me the most? #11 You know you're from So. Cal if you crave an In-N-Out Burger like it's crack cocaine.

7 Helpful Tips to Improve Your Facebook Page

Intro by Laurie Epps

Facebook has changed how we interact as a society overall. Want to find my blog? Want to see my new dress we were just talking about? It's all there, right on my wall awaiting the virtual world to discover it.

But as a writer, we also need to market ourselves with the public. For me, this has meant adding a separate writer page to Facebook. How can we use that forum to best represent us to our public? Here to walk us through the do's and don'ts is my guest blogger, Melisa Marzett.

Valentines Train

Orange Groves in Fillmore, CA

By Laurie Epps

Nestled on the 126 Fwy halfway between Santa Clarita, CA and Ventura, CA is the quaint little town of Fillmore. It's a beautiful drive and you're nestled in the birthplace of the famous Valencia oranges. A neat trip back into times past, you'll be enchanted on a train ride on Fillmore & Western Railway.